Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Moving Law # 3

This is probably not, technically, a "law" as much as a suggestion, but I'll list it as Moving Law # 3 just to be consistent with earlier entries.

If you you are involved in a long-distance move (i.e. you won't be making multiple trips back and forth in your car) AND if you will be using the services of a moving company (i.e. you have enough junk to justify this), THEN it is tempting to think that you can put a lot of "last minute" stuff in your car, but that way lies disaster !  Unless you send as much stuff as possible on the moving van, you will almost always end up with more stuff left (after the movers are gone) than what you can possibly fit in your car! . . .  Instead, try to pack up absolutely everything for the movers to take except what they refuse to take (e.g. pets, liquids, etc.).  You will still end up with way too much stuff in your car (and way too much time spent packing it), but the situation will not be quite as bad as if you were counting on having more space in your car than you actually have.  Trying to ship things by air freight or railroad at the last minute, or trying to rent a trailer on short notice are nightmarish situations that you would probably want to avoid, if at all possible.  (Perhaps there is a "space" variation on Parkinson's Law:  stuff expands to fit the space available, and can easily expand even beyond the space available.)

Color Coding for Cars

It has occurred to me that many items are color coded and this makes it easier to quickly discern something about the item.  Labels on decaf coffee, for example, are usually green.  Warning signs are often in red.  What if we used color coding on cars to help us distinguish between types of drivers?  We could see, at a glance, what type of driver we're dealing with.  Here's how it might work:

red = fast driver; usually immature, impulsive; angry or irrational if crossed
blue = middle-aged driver; mature, experienced; generally cautious and law-abiding
green = new driver; immature, inexperienced; good reflexes, but tends to push the limits
yellow = youngish (but not green); happy, carefree; basically cautious, but sometimes inattentive when singing along with song
orange = prisoner; should not be on the road in any event
pink = young woman; usually attentive except when applying makeup or talking on a cell phone
purple = think former (or current) mental patient; erratic; alternately goes too fast and too slow; makes left turns from right turn lanes, etc.
gray or white = older driver; mature, experienced, but sometimes drives too slow
black = think drug dealer; sticks to big cities and interstate highways; a tad fast